A Successful Pairing
by Nika Dixon
Summary: NIGHTMARES PART 2: Jennifer and the Terrible, Horrible, No Good, Very Bad Day. What happens when a certain doctor gets really pissed off at a potential suitor? Baseball anyone? The continuation of Nightmares, as requested!
1. Chapter 1

_I had an idea of what exactly would happen if Jen was pissed off - I mean really pissed off. 'Come on ladies you know what I mean - when you get so mad you do something completely out of character and turn into a PMS'ing ball of fury? :) Well, this is my take on what could happen... You go girl! :)  
_

_--_

ONE

"You look beautiful." Teyla smiled, and pulled Jennifer's hands away from where they were picking at the front of the dress.

"I look like Michelle Kwan." Jennifer muttered, yanking her hands back to pull the hem lower. "The only thing missing is the figure skates."

"Figure skates?" Teyla pronounced slowly, her eyebrows arched in curiosity.

Jen flung her hands up in disgust. "This is crazy. I can't go out there dressed like this!" She fiddled with the flimsy mint-green material, trying to force it to cover up more of her body. She felt naked without a bra on, but the damn cut of the dress wouldn't allow for her well worn, very comfortable, granny style white bra. Thank goodness she'd at least worn beige underwear this morning.

"I look ridiculous. Why do I have to wear this?"

"Jennifer." Teyla placed her hands on Jen's bare shoulders and turned her around. "All the women are dressed as you are. It is the traditional attire of the festival. And it is only for one night. Rodney and Radek will be finished their survey and be back tomorrow to retrieve us."

Jen rolled her eyes and cursed Colonel Carter for the hundredth time since Sam had rushed into Jen's office at four o'clock and begged Jen to take her place at a festival. Jen had pictured well, a festival – carnival rides, cotton candy, lots of junk food – so she'd happily agreed.

Instead she'd discovered _festival_ loosely translated into a collection of tents and a bonfire in the middle of the forest.

Jen peered out through the flaps of the tent towards the center of the clearing. Brightly decorated with flowers and ribbons, it was a mass of villagers, dressed in various matching combinations of colors, and almost all the women wearing the miniscule little outfits like Jen's – reds, greens, blues – they were all represented.

A large collection of tables lined the side of the clearing, each overflowing with huge platters and bowls overflowing with food. A few women, wearing the mint-green concoction Jen was currently picking at, stood in a group near the fire pit, laughing and giggling behind their hands. A small group of men, dressed in trousers and dark green shirts stood across the clearing, staring and whispering while watching the giggling women. The rest of the crowd milled around chatting and talking.

"There is nothing to be nervous about." Teyla continued. "I have been assured by several of the elders that the summer festival is a wonderous event. It would be considered a great insult if we did not participate."

Jen sighed. Atlantis needed their Pegasus trading partners, and pissing them off just because she didn't want to be dressed like a figure skater didn't seem much of a real reason not to participate. Except for the small fact that Jen hated standing out. And right now, she was feeling way more than a little naked, about to step out into a crowd of strangers wearing nothing more than a bathing suit.

At least it was a hot, sunny afternoon.

She wouldn't freeze to death.

Die from embarrassment, maybe.

But at least she'd be warm.

"Why can't I just wear what you're wearing?" She looked longingly towards Teyla's much less revealing long skirt.

"I am…" Teyla smiled and gently placed her hands over her protruding stomach. "Not able to properly wear a garment such as yours. Besides," She smiled up at Jen. "It looks much better on you."

Jen snorted, and turned back towards the tent flaps.

She could see Colonel Sheppard standing some distance away, across the clearing, still wearing his uniform, but were without weapons. He was discussing something with the village elder, and the way John kept looking back at Ronon, their discussion obviously involved him. Jen's eyes moved to the tall Satedan who was leaning so casually against a tree.

She hadn't know he was attending the event, and at first she'd been rather happy he was going to be there, but now, dressed like this, she felt her face flushing.

He stood with his arms crossed and a frown on his face while he glared at Sheppard.

"Ah." Teyla nodded. "I believe the elder does not approve of Ronon keeping his weapon."

Jen shook her head, and tried not to smile. "He'd never leave it behind."

"No," Teyla agreed. "He would not."

John must have said something that eased the Elder's mind for he finally nodded and shook the Colonel's hand before walking away – but not without a parting glare at Ronon.

Ronon didn't move, his stance still appearing casual but Jen knew differently. The man rarely turned off – if ever. He was always on guard, always watchful. Rodney was always joking around and calling Ronon a caveman – but Jen knew better. Ronon was incredibly intelligent. The more she spoke to him, the more she realized there was a lot more to the man than any of them realized.

She'd barely had time to say two words to him today after her spectacular exit from his room this morning in front of Colonel Sheppard and Teyla. Thankfully, no one made any specific comments when they'd found out she'd be taking Colonel Carter's place, although John seemed to have issues controlling his smirk. She'd tried a couple of times to get him alone so she could thank him, but every attempt seemed to be against some kind of bizarre rule of fate.

A flash of color appeared directly in front of Jen's face, and she stepped back, frantically trying to yank more of the material over her bare shoulders and down past her thighs, before Teyla pulled the edges of the tent back.

"Ah." The Elder stood in the opening, dressed in a long flowing robe with a rainbow of colors stitched through it's intricate patterns. He nodded towards Teyla. "Good. I see you are ready. We are calling our guests to the meal." He turned towards Jen and gave her an approving nod. "Someone as knowledgeable as you, Doctor Keller, brings our village great honor by agreeing to participate in our festival."

Teyla, ever the diplomat, nodded towards the man. "We appreciate you allowing our inclusion in such an important time for your village."

Jen shook her head. The woman could be president, she was such a natural politician.

The Elder held out his hand, reaching for Jen's arm. She let him lift her hand, and jumped when he suddenly snapped a large, ugly metallic bracelet around her wrist. It was heavy and cold against her skin. She looked up questioningly.

"It is tradition for all our women who participate to wear the banding of the festival." He explained, bending his elbow and motioning for her to take his arm. She looked at Teyla, who nodded briefly.

Jen hooked her fingers lightly over his outstretched arm, and walked beside him as he moved out into the bright sunshine.

"Please tell us more about your festival." Teyla asked softly as they threaded their way though the tents towards the large gathering of tables.

"Our celebration compliments the arrival of the middle of the growing season – the time when the plants have grown and stabilized and now begin to take fruit. It has been a tradition our village has honored for generations. It brings us luck in the hunt, fertility to our families and prayers for a healthy harvest. The celebration ends with the pairing ritual that is quite spectacular."

_Fertility_? Jen mouthed to Teyla, who shrugged.

"Pairing?" Teyla prompted.

"Oh yes." The Elder nodded excitedly, turning towards Teyla. "On this day, our young men to choose a mate. A union made during the festival is considered unbreakable. It is the greatest blessing our people strive for.

He stepped back and bowed slightly. "And now I must get everyone seated for the meal. I bid you good festival."

"Good festival." Teyla repeated, nodding.

"Choose a mate?" Jen questioned, turning towards Teyla.

"I do not think you will be expected to choose a mate." Teyla smiled knowingly. "Although, perhaps you have already found one?"

"Teyla!" Jen hissed, but couldn't stop the smile from inching at the corner's of her mouth. "You're terrible."

"I am merely saying there might be… someone… here who finds you of interest."

"Oh get real." Jen rolled her eyes. "I look like a half-dressed scoop of mint ice cream. Who the hell would want me?"


	2. Chapter 2

Ronon almost choked on the drink he was sipping when Jen and Teyla emerged from behind the tents, accompanied by the Elder.

He'd seen the other women and their sparsely covering dresses, but never in a thousand nights expected Jennifer to be wearing the same. The thinly covering material was draped over her shoulders and down across her front, barely covering her breasts and abdomen before dropping down over her hips. When she turned towards Teyla, he could see the back of the garment was just as revealing, showing the delicate curve of her spine. Graceful, bare arms. Long, bare legs. And damn if he couldn't decide if she was wearing anything underneath. His blood warmed and he straightened. She was wearing too little and the other men were staring too much.

He frowned.

"Well then." John said smugly, stepping up beside him. "Guess I should have grabbed a camera after all."

Ronon just blinked.

The Elder called everyone to supper and they threaded their way through the milling crowd as the villagers shuffled to find a seat. By the time everyone had finished jockeying for room on the benches, Teyla had snagged an end seat, with Jen at her side, strategically insisting John sit across from her, leaving Ronon directly across from Jen.

Ronon watched in silence as Jen fought with the material of the dress.

"Shut it." She warned, holding a finger up towards Sheppard as he opened his mouth.

"What?" John tried his best to look innocent. "I was just going to say-"

"I know what you were going to say and you can keep it to yourself. And I swear if any of you ever, ever breathe a word of this to anyone, I'll see to it your next check up includes the rabies vaccine. Excruciating." She glared at three of them, prompting a laugh from Teyla.

Ronon wasn't sure what a rabies vaccine was, but the uncomfortable look on John's face told him she'd threatened them with something medically painful.

An over eager young man sat on Jen's other side, sneaking glances at her from the corner of his eye. Ronon saw the man's eyes wandering down to her chest more than once. Jen, oblivious, appeared too busy eating and talking with Teyla to notice.

But Ronon noticed. And he didn't like it.

A well aimed toe of his boot and the man jumped, knocking against the table and almost spilling his drink.

Ronon turned towards John when he felt John's elbow jabbing him in the ribs. "What?"

"Behave." Sheppard whispered.

Ronon just grinned and turned back towards his plate, happy to see the young man was no longer looking at Jennifer.

Ronon glanced up at Teyla who was giving him a knowing smile.

"What?"

She shook her head and returned to her food.

Jen tried to relax and enjoy the meal – the food was delicious – but she was feeling far to self conscious in the little get up to fully relax. The man sitting next to her introduced himself as Perrin, and he continually tried to keep her in conversation. He seemed nice enough, but his overly direct gaze was making her uncomfortable. It didn't help that his eyes couldn't seem to move any higher than her chest. She was suddenly overcome with the urge to draw an up arrow directly between her breasts with the gravy. She tried to turn herself to talk to Teyla, but the narrow benches made the motion almost entire impossible. So she silently cursed Colonel Carter again, and tried to ignore her eager dinner companion.

Ronon continued to watch Jennifer, while trying not to look like he was staring. At the end of the meal she started squirming in her seat, catching his attention even further. With her left hand, she grabbed her napkin and dropped it onto her lap. Jabbing her fork into a piece of meat on her plate she stuffed it into her mouth and slid a little towards Teyla, frowning.

The village women began clearing away the leftover food and empty plates, questioning everyone on the meal, and making light conversation, and setting out plates of sweet fruit as a dessert. By the time the commotion was over, Ronon looked up to see Jen practically sitting in Teyla's lap.

Ronon frowned when Teyla whispered something to Jen, who's face was almost completely flush with embarrassment. Then Jennifer leaned over and whispered something back to Teyla, which then prompted the Athosian to scowl. Were they arguing?

He glanced over at Sheppard who was regarding the two women with equal curiosity.

Ronon turned back and watched with growing confusion as Jennifer reached for a piece of red fruit and Teyla suddenly bumped her shoulder, prompting Jen to squeak and drop the fruit. Then the young man, who was sitting on Jen's other side suddenly yelped and clutched at his hand.

John started to cough, Jen's face flushed further, and Teyla just smiled innocently.

Ronon had no idea what was going on so he turned towards Sheppard, who was grinning across the table at Teyla.

"What's so funny?" Ronon asked.

"Nothing!" Jen glared from across the table and pointed her finger between the three of them. "Rabies!"


	3. Chapter 3

Jen stood in a circle with the other group of similarly garbed women and gave a quick nod to the woman beside her who was asking if she'd enjoyed the meal.

Jen didn't want to talk about dinner, didn't want to think about dinner. It was bad enough Teyla had figured out Perrin's ogling had turned into a frat-boy case of roaming hands, she sure as hell didn't want the anyone else knowing she was being groped in the middle of supper.

Jen was pretty much reaching the end of her limit of patience. In the past two hours she'd cycled through excited to shocked to embarrassed to furious, and now she was just plain weary.

She probably could have managed it all in good faith if it hadn't been for Perrin and his grabby little hands. He reminded her too much of her lab partner from med-school with an equally annoying habit.

So, she'd tried to be the more mature one, and secretly hoped to be able to get out of the damn outfit as soon as the meal was done but apparently now she was expected to go gallivanting off into the forest with the other mint-freaks.

All in the spirit of good trade agreements.

Jen was fuming, and if John made one more crack about how she was doing a great service by saving their negotiations, she was going to break his nose.

And then refuse to fix it.

With a flourish the Elder stepped forward and started on with a long winded explanation of the history of the festival, and how their ancestors had started the tradition, and how the future of their village depended on it.

Teyla was nodding encouragingly, and Jen suddenly wanted to threaten her with the rabies vaccine too. John was checking the women out, and being checked out in return, and Ronon was standing at the back of the crowd doing his best to look threatening so people wouldn't talk to him.

Jen wondered what she'd have to do to get Ronon to create a distraction so she could sneak away. Shoot the Elder? Hmm…

When Ronon's gaze met hers from across the crowd she almost smiled. He looked about as happy to be here as she did. Maybe she _could_ convince him to shoot someone so they could get tossed out? It wouldn't really be hurting anyone. Just a stun. Like starting a fight on the dance floor? Have the bouncers throw them out onto the street? Then maybe she could finally change her clothes.

She sighed. Great way for the CMO to be thinking, Jennifer. Just buck it up and get with the program. It won't kill you.

"Yeah, so you say", she muttered under her breath.

"Sorry?" Said the woman beside her.

Jen shook her head, crossed her arms tightly over her chest, and looked away, half listening as the Elder described what was supposed to be a bizarre game of hide-and-seek.

Several village artifacts were hidden in the forest and the mint-green women were getting first crack at finding them. Apparently each bracelet was tuned into a specific artifact and would brighten in color the closer they got like some kind of odd homing beacon. A group of young men were also wearing bracelets, and would start their race for the same artifacts ten minutes after the women. If a woman found it first, she'd be married within a year and have many healthy children. If the man found it, he'd bring prosperity and wealth to his family.

Jen rolled her eyes when the crowd cheered and applauded, and the women around her giggled and waved to the green-shirted men across the clearing. Perrin smiled at her. She pretended not to see.

She was going to give Colonel Carter a few extra vaccinations next time she was up for her physical. And John. And Teyla. This was the last time she was going to agree to participate in any negotiations. This was completely humiliating.

Jen yanked at the hem of the way-too-short skirt and muttered under her breath.

With a cheer the Elder rang a loud bell, signaling the start of the event. Jen shook her head and groaned as the dozen giggling women ran towards the forest, laughing and looking back at the group of men.

Teyla stepped up beside her. "I believe you are expected to join them."

"Oh come on." Jen rolled her eyes. "Please? I'm here, I'm dressed, I'm well groped. Can't we just call it a night?"

"Jennifer. I do not think Perrin intended to upset you."

"Yeah, well he did." Jen sighed and turned towards Teyla. "I'm sorry, I don't mean to be short with you. This isn't your fault. It's just that I'm…"

"Uncomfortable?" Teyla suggested.

"Very." Jen nodded. "I'm so far out of my element."

"Perhaps you need to simply think of the good you are doing."

Jen nodded, and looked up as the Elder approached, a sign of concern on his face.

"Doctor Keller." He shook his head. "Is there a problem? You no longer wish to honor us by participating? We have evenly matched all our couples, and if you do not join them, I fear we will not have a successful pairing."

Jen glanced over at Teyla who was giving her an encouraging nod.

Jen sighed and smiled at the Elder. "No, no problem." She whispered harshly towards Teyla. "You tell them, rabies shots if they even think of bringing this up. Ever!"

"Yes." Teyla nodded, smiling and giving Jen a gentle push. "I will tell them."

With a fake smile and a nod to the Elder, Jen followed the women into the forest.

* * *

Ronon stepped up beside Teyla and crossed his arms. "She's angry."

"Yes." Teyla nodded. "You are correct. I do not believe I have ever seen Jennifer so… irritated."

"Why?" Ronon stared at the edge of the trees where Jennifer had disappeared. He'd seen her frustrated, but he couldn't recall her ever showing any outright signs of hostility. When she'd been standing in the crowd of women she'd looked mad enough to, well, kill someone.

Teyla shrugged at Ronon's question. "I do not think she is enjoying herself. Perhaps she is not used to events such as these?"

Ronon nodded, remembering what Jennifer had told him when they were locked in the infirmary together. She hadn't been included in many events growing up. Maybe she was just feeling out of place.

"What was going on between you two at the table? Before." He asked, thinking back to her strange behavior during the meal.

Teyla shifted position and angled her head, but didn't answer.

"Teyla." He growled, looking down at the petite Athosian while she subconsciously rubbed her extended abdomen.

"Jennifer had a small problem. I took care of it."

"Problem?" Ronon frowned. "What problem?"

"It is nothing, Ronon." Teyla shook her head. "She would not want you to worry."

"Worry!" He barked. "Why would I worry? What? Tell me."

Teyla sighed and looked up at him, hesitating, then nodding slightly. "Jennifer is a beautiful woman."

Ronon narrowed his gaze.

"I believe the man sitting beside her was simply trying to get her attention."

"Get her attention?" Ronon's head turned and he sought out the young man who'd been sitting beside Jennifer. He was standing with the other group of similarly dressed men, laughing and eagerly awaiting the opportunity to chase after the women.

Ronon turned back towards Teyla. "Explain."

Teyla rolled her eyes. "Ronon."

"Teyla."

Teyla sighed, and looked away. "The young man was… reaching out to Jennifer. Under the table."

Ronon's mind finally made the connection and his vision clouded. He'd been grabbing her under the table? He spun and reached for his weapon but Teyla's hand landed firmly on his wrist and she spun to stand in front of him.

"No, Ronon."

Suddenly, the sounds of the bell peeled out through the crowd and a boisterous cheer went up as the green-shirted men took off at full speed and disappeared into the forest.

"I _will_ kill him." Ronon growled.

"I do not think that would be a proper ending to the festival." Teyla replied.


	4. Chapter 4

The further Jen went into the undergrowth, the more relaxed she became. Okay so maybe this wasn't going to be so bad after all. It had to be a good ten degrees cooler in the deep shade of the forest, but it _was_ still a beautiful day. And… being out here meant she wasn't back there. Although she definitely needed to ditch the two women who were skipping in front of her, giggling incessantly about which guy they wanted to be partnered with. This one was stronger, but this one was smarter, and oh this one was just so sweet…

Jen couldn't stop herself from sticking her finger up to her through and making a mock gagging motion.

_My guy who would kick both your guy's asses. Blindfolded. With one arm tied behind his back._

The thought sounded so high-school she started to snicker to herself prompting strange looks from the two in front of her. She stuck out her tongue and they turned quickly away.

A sudden tingling shot up her arm and Jen jumped, looking down at the bracelet she'd forgotten she was wearing. It was blinking? Why was it blinking? She stared at the strange red glow pulsing from the top of the metal.

"It's time!" One of the women in front of her shrieked and looked down at her wrist band. "The men are coming. We'd better hurry and find the treasures first!" And with a laugh the ran off ahead.

Jen ignored them and poked at the bracelet, trying to pull it off. It wouldn't move. She struggled to force it apart. Nope. She cursed and yanked harder. Nothing. She couldn't even see any seam or sign of a clasp. It looked like one solidly smooth piece of metal.

A loud hooting cheer sounded somewhere off to her right and she cursed. They sounded like a bunch of jocks on their way to a tailgate party! Whooping and whistling – it was completely disgusting. And wouldn't you know it, Perrin would be right there with them.

The wisps of an idea started to form. Maybe she could find a nice, quiet, sunny spot, and lay low until after everyone else went back to the party?

Either that or maybe she could get hopelessly lost in the woods. That wouldn't be so hard to believe, really. She'd definitely miss the rest of the festival that way – and get some time to herself. Hmm…

Running up a short hill she slipped at the top edge and cursed the flimsy little sandals she was wearing. It was like trying to climb in flip-flops. A sharp tingle wrapped around her wrist and she looked down at the bracelet. It was now pulsing a stronger shade of red. Interesting. She turned her wrist over and pulled at it, but it didn't stop pulsing. Maybe this was the tracking beacon they were talking about. Slipping down the other side of the hill, grabbing branches and tree trunks to keep from falling over, she stepped out onto a dried up riverbed. When she turned right the bracelet buzzed again, the red light dimming. Curious, she turned to the left and the light increased.

Interesting.

Left it is, then.

Following the riverbed, and the glow of the bracelet, she eventually came to a small clearing. The weather was calm and beautiful and the meadow was sunny, and green, and quiet. Oh so quiet. No people, no crowd, nothing.

_Much better_, she sighed.

The bracelet was humming happily and throbbing a deep red. Jen looked around the clearing. Along the far side was a narrow rock shelf that extended off to her right and disappeared into the trees. Hiking herself around to the back side of the rocks, the bracelet admitted a soft hum and turned a solid red. Jen looked around near the rocks, using the various shades of light and vibration to eventually find long piece of wood intricately carved with designs and symbols, and painted with various colors. It reminded her a bit of a miniature totem pole. It was about three feet long and a good three inches in diameter. It was solid too, probably weighed a good eight to ten pounds. The minute her fingers touched it the bracelet emitted a sudden white pulse and fell silent, returning to it's dull, silver appearance.

Guess this was the big treasure. Jen looked around the clearing, and with a shrug, climbed up onto the rocks and settled down on a smooth, wide shelf. Crossing her ankles she leaned back against the warm rock face. She'd hang out here until for a little while before going back. Maybe by then she'd miss any other surprises and could just relax and enjoy the evening.

The sun felt amazing. She was out of the breeze. It was quiet and warm.

It wasn't long before she was completely asleep.

* * *

Ronon paced a short furrow into the earth behind the table where Teyla was sitting with some of the village elders. He frowned when she looked over, silently cursing her for not letting him shoot the one who had bothered Jennifer. The one who had touched her.

The more he thought about it, the angrier he became, and the more he wanted to find the bastard and shoot him where he stood. Treaty or no.

He stopped, crossed his arms and stared into the trees. It had been well over and hour and Jennifer still hadn't returned. Granted, only a few of the couples _had_ returned, but still… he didn't like it.

A cheer shot up from the crowd as another couple returned from the woods. Ronon anxiously glanced forward, hoping it was Jennifer, wanting her back here where he could keep an eye on her.

It wasn't Jennifer.

It was a tall, skinny man pulling a short redheaded woman along behind him. As they reached the center of the village the jovial crowd closed in around them. Ronon looked away when the man happily kissed the young woman, resulting in another cheer from the crowd.

This was the fourth couple to return.

He looked back over at Teyla, then at the sinking sun. It would be dark soon. He told himself it was the lack of light that made the decision as he stepped back and turned towards the collection of brightly covered canvas structures. Anyone seeing him would seen a man headed towards his tent.

They would have, of course, assumed incorrectly.

* * *

Teyla looked up when John approached, and excused herself and walked to meet him.

"John." She said with a smile. "Is something wrong?"

"Have you seen Ronon?" Sheppard scanned the crowd.

"Yes, he is…" She turned, and frowned, looking quickly around.

"Did he say where he was going?"

Teyla shook her head but she had a pretty good idea of where Ronon had gone. She stared with narrowed eyes at the forest. "No, he did not tell me, although I do believe I know where he has gone."

John raised an eyebrow, and waited. "Well?" He said finally.

Teyla sighed, and confirmed John's suspicions of what had transpired between Jennifer and Perrin during their meal.

John groaned and rolled his eyes. "Great…" he backed quickly away. "I'd better go find him before he shoots someone."

* * *

Jen woke up to the feel of something wet and soppy against her lips and cheeks. In her sleeping state she immediately thought of Dockers, her father's cute little Chihuahua, and smiled, pushing the little dog away. But her fingers instead connected with a decidedly un-canine nose.

Her eyes snapped open and she got a face full of… Perrin?

With a shudder of disgust she shoved him away, knocking him off the small rock ledge and onto the ground. Wiping her mouth with the back of her hand she stared at him as he climbed to his feet.

"You see, Misho? I told you she would wait for me!" Perrin said confidently to the young man standing beside him.

"I was not waiting for you!" Jen mumbled, wiping her mouth again. "What on Earth do you think you're doing?"

"You are my pairing mate." Perrin said, puffing out his chest.

"I'm your what?" Jen asked incredulously. Perrin looked at his friend, a tall youth of no more than eighteen, who was nodding happily along.

"My pairing mate." Perrin repeated, holding up his bracelet. "The bracelets decree that you are to be mine. We will be married at the next twin moons and have prosperity and many beautiful children!"

Again, more furious nodding and smiles from Misho.

Jen scurried down off the rock and turned quickly to face Perrin. She opened her mouth to tell him just what he could do with his crazy idea when he stepped forward and slapped another wet kiss across her lips, only this time he added in full on grapple of her right breast.

With a scream of frustration Jen shoved him away. "What the hell are you doing!"

"You're mine." Perrin nodded – echoed by head bobbing and smiles from Misho.

"I am not yours!" She yelled. "And if you do that again I swear I'll-"

This time he grabbed for both her arms and pulled her up against him, slapping another wet kiss onto her mouth.

Jen stomped on his foot and he yowled and jumped back.

Misho looked confused, but tried his best to keep smiling and nodding.

Jen shoved Perrin away and had barely taken too steps back towards the riverbed when she was knocked to the ground and Perrin landed on top of her.

"Get off me!" She struggled to roll over, looking up through her bangs into his idiotic, smiling face.

"You can not leave yet." He said simply. "We have to complete the ritual."

"Let me up!" Jen spat, but Perrin a good six inches taller and a lot heaver. He rolled her over and lay across her. Jen was starting to get a little more than angry, and a lot more than freaked out. He was heavy and he wasn't letting her go. Her mind starting putting a few too many facts together and she didn't like where this was going.

"We have to finish the ritual."

She stopped moving. "What ritual?" She asked quickly.

"The ritual of the pairing! We are to be married. Your duty as my wife begins now. It is the way of the festival."


	5. Chapter 5

"Duty as your _what_?" Jen shrieked. "You mean you want to… you think we're going to? Now? With me? You perverted little freak!" Adrenaline, fear and anger drove her to fight with every ounce of strength she could muster. His complete ignorance that she'd event think of fighting back gave her the opening she needed. With a shriek Jen brought her knee up and shoved it into his groin with as much force as she could muster. Placing both hands against his shoulder, she shoved him off and dove for the wooden staff lying on the ground at the base of the rocks.

"What did you do that for!" he howled, rolling around, both hands tucked tightly over his crotch.

"You're not supposed to do that!" Misho chimed in. "She's not supposed to do that." He helped Perrin to his feet, and this time Misho wasn't smiling and nodding. In fact, he looked just as furious as Perrin.

Jen scrambled to her feet, the wooden staff grasped tightly in both hands.

"Put that down and come here." He ordered, his previously jovial face a mask of fury. "You are mine and I will take you."

"Oh no you won't." Jen steadied her feet and held the branch up over her shoulder.

He moved slowly forward.

"Don't!" She warned.

"You can't hit me." He said. "We're paired!"

"We're not paired!" She yelled. "Stop saying that! And if you come any closer I'm swear I'm going to show you just why the Chippewa Falls Little League Team won the championships five years in a row."

Jen slid her right foot back and gripped the base of the branch, dropping her weight back onto her rear leg. Balancing on the balls of her feet, she swirled the end of the branch around in the air, raised her elbow, and locked her sight onto his upper arm, which would be about the right height for a slow pitch toss.

He warily looked from her, to Misho, to the wiggling club, and back to her again. He hesitated, then obviously decided she wasn't going to hit him, smiled and stepped towards her.

"I warned you." Jen muttered snapping the branch back with practiced ease, shifting her weight, and bringing it forward with a vocal battle cry that echoed through the forest silencing even the birds. He jumped away but wasn't fast enough. Jen's swing connected with his upper back, sending him sprawling face first into the dirt with a scream of pain. Vibrations transferred up the impromptu bat making her palms sting. She adjusted her grip and stepped back, afraid to take her eyes off him long enough to run.

He struggled to his feet, his face bent in fury and pain, and he came at her again, but she'd already returned the branch to it's spot above her shoulder. Swinging again, she dropped her weight and bent her knees, yelled _pop fly to left field_, and connected perfectly along the fleshy part of his left butt cheek, spinning him around in a circle. He collapsed in the dirt, and rolled around clutching his injury.

"Now stay down you… you… disgusting little pervert!" She screamed, holding the wood high over her shoulder. "Or the next lesson is going to be about golf! Do you understand me!"

Misho took one look at Perrin lying whimpering in the dirt, then Jen and the club, and turned and ran full speed for the trees.

"That's right you little bobble head! You damn well better run!"

With an aggravated yell Jen tipped her head, stomped her feet, and cried out to the sky. "I. AM. NOT. HAPPY!"

Ronon stood silently behind Jennifer while she yelled, swinging the chunk of wood like some kind of glorious warrior.

He looked at John, who was trying very hard not to laugh.

They'd rushed into the clearing, and caught only the tail end of Jennifer's struggle with the two men. He'd been about to shoot the one called Perrin when John had grabbed his arm, urging him to wait, saying something about a base and a ball bat. He'd almost shot John for interfering but John told him to shoot Perrin only if Perrin actually touched her.

Ronon quickly shook his head. He had no idea what the hell kind of training she'd had – her stance was the strangest fighting position he'd ever seen. And what was with the odd circling she did with the end of the staff, and that strange bend in her elbow?

Either way, he had to admit, the swing was definitely worthy.

He shook his head.

She was fine. She was more than fine. She was amazing.

As he stepped up behind her she must have sensed his movement for she spun with a furious growl, the end of the wooden staff completing the ark. He leaned expertly to the side and narrowly missed being clubbed. He almost smiled. She definitely had power when she was angry. Straightening he grabbed for the wood and pulled it out of her hands.

"Nice shot, Doc." John nodded, poking the man on the ground with the toe of his boot, making the villager whimper. "You're on my team next time. We'll kick Lorne's ass."

Jen blew out a frustrated breath of air.

"You okay?" Ronon asked quietly.

"Fine." She spat, her breath coming in short gasps as she turned to glare at the man on the ground.

Ronon lowered the wooden club and gave her a thorough once over. Her hair was tangled and matted with dried leaves, she had a huge smear of dirt down the left side of her body, and the left strap of the dress was barely being held together by a few threads. Her left knee was bleeding, and her back was covered in mud and small scratches.

He growled low in his throat and pulled his weapon, aiming it at the still whimpering form on the ground.

"Ronon!" John barked. "I think he's figured it out already."

"But she's mine…" came the whining cry from the dirt.

"Oh, I warned you…" Jen said to the man on the ground, her shoulders stiffening.

Ronon kept his gun trained on Perrin, debating shooting him anyway, as Jennifer turned slowly around. Ronon shifted his gaze to hers while she stepped closer, stopping inches from his chest. She tipped her head back and looked up, raising her left eyebrow.

"Stun the jackass." She ordered.

Ronon couldn't stop himself from smiling. Without taking his eyes off the woman in front of him, he pulled the trigger.

A surge of energy and the whimpering stopped.

"Damn it, Doc." John raised his hands in defeat. "You're just as bad as he is!"

Ronon started to chuckle when Jen ignored Sheppard's barb.

"Thank you." She blinked up at Ronon.

"Anytime." He answered.

"All right let's get you back."

Jen rolled her eyes and looked at John. "Oh so _now_ it's time to go."

John looked sufficiently chagrinned as he stumbled to apologize. "Look Doc, if we'd had any idea-"

Jen held up her hand, palm forward. "Just… go. Let's just go." She frowned and looked down at her shoulder where the material was ripped along the top of her arm. She picked at the two pieces and tried to pull them closer together but only succeed in tearing it further.

"I don't suppose you thought to bring any clothes?"

"Well, ah, no." John shook his head, turning and starting across the clearing and back towards the riverbed.

"Great," she muttered, stomping after him, her voice increasing in volume and ferocity with every step, making sure he could clearly hear her as he scampered away. "More fuel for the fire. Everyone already thinks I'm some kind of jinx. She shouldn't go off world, you know. Terrible bad luck, you know. I heard no one wants to her to go with them, you know. _It's just a festival. Have some dinner. It'll be fun._ Now I have to go back looking like a mud wrestling figure skater and knowing my luck this damn thing will disintegrate the minute I get back to the damn party and I'll end up standing there completely naked!"

Ronon, following behind her during her verbal tirade, almost stumbled when she practically screamed out the word _naked_. He quickly reached behind his head and in one swift move yanked off his shirt. He spun it around and pulled it down over Jennifer's head, helping her feed her arms through.

Jen stared down at the drowning garment with a mix of shock and relief.

"Thank God." She mumbled. It was like wearing a night shirt. Okay and yes it was Ronon's shirt, but the angry side she was currently riding out wasn't about to let her fall into that train of thought. It was having too much fun running free.

"Better?" He asked softly.

"Much." She nodded.


	6. Chapter 6

Jen walked silently beside Ronon as they made their way back to the riverbank. John had jogged on ahead, hopefully to get someone to put Perrin out of his misery for good.

It was definitely dark under the trees now, and with the silly slippers she was wearing, Jen was having a difficult time navigating. After the third time she stumbled, Ronon grabbed her hand and pulled her tightly against his left side. It took Jen a moment to realize he was walking on the rocks while somehow guiding her along the smoothest section. She threaded her fingers through his and allowed him to steer her.

Eventually the light from the giant bonfire was visible through the trees. As they neared the edge of the clearing, she could see the party was in full swing. Flames from the fire shot high up into the night sky. People were laughing and talking, casks of what was probably some kind of local ale making its way from person to person. A group of musicians were playing something fast and upbeat and a small crowd was spinning furiously in a jovial dance.

Jen hesitated.

She hated parties. Well, not hated, hated. Just didn't really like. She didn't know how to act. What to do. What was expected. It wasn't the large crowd – she could handle crowds. Instructing, teaching, meetings. Those crowds didn't bother her. They were organized. Had a purpose. But parties – parties held a whole other social expectation and etiquette she had very little experience with. It wasn't that she didn't _want_ to go to parties, she just, well, never had the opportunity.

Ronon stopped when he felt the sudden tightening of her fingers against his. She was staring anxiously at the crowd and madly chewing on her bottom lip, her hand tightly clutching his.

"This way." He said, tugging her around to the right.

Ronon lead her around the clearing, keeping them under the cover of the trees. He knew she wasn't watching where she was going – her eyes were on the party and the bonfire – so he took extra care to walk slowly and leave room incase she should turn forward again.

When they reached the far side of the clearing, Jen noted they'd come to the tented area. Ronon broke out of the trees and led her through the large cluster of tents, stopping when they reached hers.

"Thought you'd want to change."

Jennifer nodded, and slowly shrugged out of his shirt. Ronon tried to avoid thinking about intimate act of seeing her pulling off his shirt. Wearing it, she'd looked like she'd had nothing underneath and it was a little unnerving. He'd decided that getting her back into her own clothes was just as much for his sanity as it was for hers.

"Will you – will you wait for me? It'll just take a second." She asked hesitantly.

He nodded. "I'll be right here."

* * *

With a cold shiver, Jen curled up into the fetal position under the blanket, attempting to get warm. She'd gone to bed toasty enough after spending a few hours in front of the massive bonfire, but now the heat and incredibly stiff alcoholic drink she'd had before retiring to her tent had worn off.

Sleeping on the ground sucked.

She could still hear echoes of laughter and a few drunken sonnets as the villagers celebrated around the bonfire. She squinted at her watch. Two in the morning. Well, at least she hadn't woken up due to a nightmare tonight.

Er, yet.

She sighed, and shifted her position again. Deciding she might be better off if she put her track pants and socks on, then double the blanket underneath her, she flung off the blankets and reached for her socks. Rolling over she gasped as she came face to face with … Perrin?

"Oh my God will you just _go away_!" She spat, shoving him away and sitting up. "I am not interested!"

Perrin, smiled and hiccupped, giving her a jovial wave.

"I have shpoken with the Elder and he (hic) told me you do not know (hic) our customs. So…" he gave her a big, drunken smile. "I will forgive you, wife."

"You… you forgive me?" Jen shook her head, incredulously. "You are completely insane, you know that? Get out of my tent."

"No, wife. It is my tent, too!" He wiggled his wrist, the bracelet glowing a faint red. "The bracelets say so!"

Jen looked down at her arm and sure enough, the damn bracelet was pulsing.

"Fine." She muttered, yanking at the piece of metal. "Take your damn jewelry and get the hell out of my tent!"

"It will not come off." He hiccupped, crawling up onto his knees to smile at her.

Jen yanked harder, pinching her wrist and wincing. "What do you mean it won't come off?"

"They will not come off." He nodded happily. "You have to have me."

Jen grabbed him by the front of his shirt and shook him fiercely. "Take it off."

"I can not. It is (hic) tuned to your body. You must have me for it to release. That is (hic) how the village will know we have finally paired. The bracelets will release when we are finally husband and wife."

Jen hesitated, her mind struggling to register just what he was saying. "Are you telling me…" she said slowly. "This thing _won't_ come off unless I… unless I… have _sex_ with you?"

Perrin nodded furiously. "Yes, yes, Jennifer Keller. You are ready then?" He puckered his lips and leaned forward.

With a groan of disgust Jen shoved him away and he fell flat onto his back. Scrambling into the corner she grabbed her knapsack, scooped up the small pile of clothes she'd changed out of, and picked up her boots. Ignoring Perrin's hiccupping cry for her to come back to him, she stomped out across the grass towards the fire pit.

Okay, this was it.

She'd had enough.

_More_ than enough.

This wasn't a festival – it was a… a… a drunken college party!

She was cold. Tired. And just about ready to seriously kick some Elder ass. How dare he rope her into this without fully telling her what the hell was going on. What in hell had he been thinking? He'd put it on, he could damn well take it off!

She searched through the boisterous partiers and caught a glimpse of the Elder with the technicolor coat. Good. He was still awake. Saved her from having to roust the entire tent city to find his pompous little ass.

She spotted Ronon and John sitting against a tree along the back side of the dwindling crowd.

The Elder could wait. First things first…

Ronon glanced over to where Sheppard was pointing. Jennifer was coming quickly towards them. She was wearing an oversized gray sweatshirt and a pair of shorts. Her legs and feet were bare as she crossed the grassy clearing. He wondered briefly if she'd had another nightmare and had come for company. But then why was she carrying all her gear?

She stopped in front of them, dumped all her stuff onto the ground with a flourish, grabbed the mug out of Sheppard's hand and downed the contents in a single fluid moment. She exhaled sharply, shook her head, and handed a shocked Sheppard back his empty mug.

Ronon gaped. The mug she'd just emptied had been full with a very strong concoction Sheppard referred to as moonshine. And she'd downed the entire thing without so much as a blink.

She wiped her mouth with the back of her hand, and bent to retrieve the wooden staff she'd found in the woods. Without a word she turned and stocked back towards the tents.

Ronon looked at John.

John looked at Ronon.

And both men scrambled to their feet after her.


	7. Chapter 7

Jen reached her tent and with an anger fuelled swing, she smashed the staff into the wooden pole holding up the front end of the canvas. With a satisfying crack, the pole split in two, collapsing the front of the tent in on itself.

Muttered shock and spastic movement crawled under the tarp.

"Here." She cursed. "Have your damn tent."

She stepped around the tent towards the back and repeated the motion, adding a yell to breaking the back post and completely flatting the tent.

Perrin cried out and struggled to free himself from the canvas.

Jen walked up to Sheppard and Ronon, both of whom were standing in front of her, stunned into silence. Without a word she handed John the wooden carving, and headed back towards the bonfire.

John stood looking at her colapsed tent, and the struggling man who was now crawling out through the opening. He switched the club to his right hand and with a deft swing, cracked Perrin across the side of the skull, knocking him into oblivion.

"Hey." Ronon muttered. "I wanted to do that."

John dropped the carving next to the unconscious body.

"Sorry." He shrugged. "Maybe next time."

"John? Ronon? What is going on?" Teyla called as she stepped up beside the collapsed tent. "Oh. I see. Is that…?"

John nodded. "Yup."

"Did Jennifer do that?" Teyla looked down at the unconscious man.

"Nope." John shook his head. "That pleasure was all mine."

"Where is Jennifer?" Teyla asked, looking at the collapsed tent.

John and Ronon exchanged glances.

"Crap." John muttered.

They both turned and ran through the tents back to the bonfire, followed immediately by Teyla.

Jen wasn't hard to find.

She was standing in the middle of a small crowd, her fists buried in the lapels of the Elder's robe. John reached her first and attempted to pull her off but she wasn't letting go.

Teyla joined them and quickly approached. "Jennifer!" Teyla pleaded. "Please. I'm sure whatever is wrong we can discuss it in a more appropriate manner."

Jen squinted up at the Elder and desperately wanted to shake him. He'd already confirmed what Perrin had told her. The damn bracelet was triggered to her bio signature and was designed not to release unless the right circumstances were met with the matching unit. In this case, both wearers needed to reach an elevated heart rate, increased body temperature, and sufficient levels of specific pheromones relating to sexual attraction. At the same time. _And_ with each other. She'd demanded he cut it off, but he insisted it was designed of an ultra strong metal that couldn't be cut or damaged in any way.

The only way to get the damn thing _off_ would be to get it _on_ with the owner of the other bracelet. And both parties had to be equally… enamored with each other.

Perrin? Puh-leese! There was no way she would ever, never… ever… ever, be attracted to that man!

_Damn it!_

Teyla stepped up beside her. "Jennifer, please. What is wrong?"

Jen continued to stare up at the Elder, who's eyes were wide and worried now with the arrival of Teyla, John, and Ronon.

"Tell them." Jen gave his robe a sharp shake. "Tell them about the bracelets."

"I…" he hesitated.

"Tell them!" She shook him again.

"What about the bracelets?" Teyla looked from Jennifer to the Elder.

"They… they are connected." He started, beginning the same explanation he'd just given Jen before they'd arrived. Jen released his shirt and stepped away, her back connecting solidly with Ronon's front.

He placed his hand on her shoulder and held her against him. The sudden knowledge that he was there, standing behind her, standing _with_ her, deflated the anger with such an incredible expulsion that she felt her eyes welling with tears.

It was just too much.

Too much on top of everything else.

Weeks of not sleeping.

Weeks of worrying.

Weeks of trying to be the strong one for everyone when all she wanted to do was curl up in a tiny ball in the bottom of the shower and cry until she couldn't cry another tear.

And now – now - this?

"Heat, heart rate and pheromones?" Sheppard asked. "And that's all? Nothing else is required?"

Jen's focus shifted from the ground at her feet up to where John was now standing chest to chest with the Elder, and this time it was John's fist tightly wrapped in the older man's robe. Jen also noted that Sheppard was holding Teyla back with the other hand, and she looked about ready to break some bones.

She would have laughed if not for the fact that she was barely holding the flood of tears back.

She felt Ronon's body tense at her back and she stepped away.

This was, by far, the singularly most humiliating night of her life.

Jen moved a few feet closer to the bonfire and stared into the flames. Crossing her arms over her chest she tuned out the heated discussion going on behind her, and struggled to control the tears. She'd just have to wait until Rodney and Radek returned with the jumper tomorrow. Certainly they could find a way to cut it off, or trick it into releasing.

Or, hey, maybe it would be stuck there forever, as a reminder of just how much of a jinx she really was.

Ronon stepped up beside her and she quickly wiped at the corner of her eyes with the cuffs of her sweatshirt. He gently turned her to face him.

"You trust me?" He said quietly.

Jen blinked, the urge to cry surging forward again. Great. Now he thought she didn't trust him? Why would he even have to ask? She trusted him with her life, what more could there possibly be?

"Damn it, not you too…" She mumbled, taking a deep breath. "Of course I trust you. Why would you even ask that?"

He reached down for her hand and pulled her away from the fire, heading back towards the tents.

"Ronon?" John called after him. "Ronon!"

Jen jogged along beside him, while John and Teyla hurried to catch up.

When they reached her collapsed tent, Ronon released her hand and bent down towards the still unconscious Perrin. Before Jennifer realized what he was doing, Ronon grabbed Perrin's hand and with a swift yank, broke the drunkard's thumb.

Jen blinked.

"Ronon, tell me you didn't just…" John started.

Ronon grabbed the bracelet and yanked it off Perrin's arm. Standing, he held up the metal circle, which was once again pulsing a dull red.

"Okay then…" John finished, then turned towards Teyla. "Rock, paper, scissors for who writes the report when we get back?"

Jen looked down at her wrist. Her band was thrumming with the same pulsing rhythm as the one Ronon clutched tightly in his hand. He held his band closer to hers and the pulsing increased.

Jen sighed and rolled her eyes. "Great. I can wear it on the other wrist." She looked up into Ronon's face.

He shook his head slowly. "Heat, heartbeat, pheromones. That's it, right?"

Jen nodded. "That's what he said."

Teyla sudden made a small gasp, making everyone turn towards her. A slow smile played across her mouth while she stared at Ronon. "Ah!" she nodded. "Yes, Ronon. I believe you may be correct."

Jen's head snapped from Teyla to Ronon then back to Teyla, her heart skipping a beat. "What? Right about what?"

"Yeah." John seconded. "Right about what?"

Jen looked back up at Ronon a fraction of a second before his mouth claimed hers. She stiffened with the shock of heat that coursed through her traitorous body as she instantly leaned against him with a soft sigh. She felt his lips arc into a slight smile against her mouth right before his hand slid gently up around the back of her head, pulling her closer and deepening the kiss. She wrapped her arms around his neck, pulling herself higher up onto her toes.

Bending, he slid his other arm around her thighs and lifted her up, holding her firmly against his upper body. Jen immediately wrapped her legs around his waist and crossed her ankles, locking herself firmly in place. Their movement pulled at the hem of her sweatshirt, exposing the bare skin across her back, which his fingers sought out like a dying man's last wish. He slid his hand higher up underneath the fabric and splayed his palm across the cool skin of her back, growling with satisfaction when her back involuntarily arched and she inhaled sharply.

Between the tight grip of her legs, and his arm which was firmly seated under her bottom, Jen no longer needed to hold on to him to keep her lips attached. Her hands were free to roam, and roam they did. She traced her thumbs along the side of his jaw, then explored his neck, his collarbone, his shoulders. He growled low in his throat when she skimmed her fingernails down over his naked biceps, the deep sound breaking her body into goosebumps. She felt his muscles jump and twitch beneath the tips of her fingers when she slid her hands under the soft collar of his shirt and trailed them slowly around the back of his neck.

She trembled and pressed madly against him. Their incredibly intimate position of him standing between her legs made her body burn. Oxygen be damned, she wanted more. More of him. Here. Now. Tongues dancing, twisting and twining, darting between teeth, nipping and parting, breaking and returning. Her heart beat with a crazy stutter step and cried out for more. She had wanted to know what it would be like to kiss such a man, and oh-sweet-lord could the man kiss!

-

"Do you think we should tell them the bracelet fell off?" John looked down at the piece of metal lying in the grass.

Teyla hooked her arm through his and turned him around, pulling him back towards the bonfire. "No John. I believe the bracelet is no longer of consequence."

"You sure? I mean maybe-" He started to look back but Teyla gave his arm a quick yank.

"Yes, John. I am sure."


End file.
